There are two kinds of American families. Mammalian families are close and lethal. Reptilian are distant and tranquil.

Mammalian reproduction involves complex, often long term relationships between parent and offspring. These relations are intimate and often involve skin-on-skin contact in the reproductive act, feeding offspring, and protecting the young to reach independence and reproduce themselves. 

In this way, mammals develop hierarchical family social structures. These small networks are made up of close blood relations and have bonding rituals to join family units. Close-knit social networks that can often lead to emotional connection through caring relations. 

These families show tight bonds but also have high rates of violence, predation, and homicide. 

I know one guy who was an alcoholic womanizer most of his life. Couldn’t hold down a job. Kept getting picked up by the cops. His dad would go down to the cop shop and bail him out every time. Blame the cops for arresting him. A father’s love became coddling of the worst kind. Kid gets kicked off the football team for smoking weed, and his dad blames the coach. LIke, in public, berating this poor midwestern PE teacher. He marched out on the high school football field wearing those wrap around sunglasses with the iridescent, reflective lenses shoving his pointer finger into the coach’s chest. And the son loved his father. His protector. They felt so strongly for one another. 

That father loved his son so much he harmed the offspring. That kid today is a 51 year old meth addict. Just had a baby. His fourth between three women. The latest child was with an arsonist. It went directly into foster care for addiction withdrawal. 

The closeness of Mammalian reproduction aids survival but can be perilous.

The reptilian family tells a different story. 

We see here the majestic march to the sea. These tortoise hatchlings emerge from their sandy nest and make their mad dash for safe waters. The mother and father are absent. The only parental love these newborns know is the care with which the mother chose the clutch location. Too far from the ocean and they are snatched by hungry sea birds circling impatiently above. Too close, the tide washes away their beginning. Many nests are discovered by predators and devoured as eggs. Many more die in their desperate lunge for the sea. The parent-offspring relationship is distant, and the presence of the parent ghostly. The young turtle could only infer parents were there at one time in the past because you are here on the beach running for your life in the present.

Turtle reproduction lacks the complex family structures of warm-blooded species and reptilicide is uncommon. Though there is relatively little violence among turtlekind, they never really know one another. 

I was late on paying a heating bill last February. They shut off the gas to my house, and it was very cold. When they called me to collect, I told them my job was seasonal. It would begin again in May. 

“Do you need your mommy to pay your bills, boy?” The man’s voice was unprofessional and condescending. 

“I have not talked to my mother in a decade.” 

I got off the phone and wrapped a blanket around my shoulders. Someday, a note will arrive telling me she is deceased. I wonder how I will feel. The same? 

The distance of the reptilian model deadens relationships while the family members yet live. It does not hurt. It does not elate. It does not feel.